[5:45:53 PM] mirko <3: this whole "gay" thing, um its kinda starting to gnaw on me
[5:45:59 PM] drew-drewstar: oh
[5:46:12 PM] mirko <3: I mean, who am I lying to, I'm straight as a pole
[5:47:18 PM] drew-drewstar: sorry
[5:47:48 PM] mirko <3: it just...doesn't feel right to me
[5:48:05 PM] drew-drewstar: ill be a girl then
[5:48:09 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry
[5:48:45 PM] mirko <3: No no, its not your fault
[5:48:56 PM] drew-drewstar: please i dont want to lose you
[5:49:07 PM] mirko <3: its just... I'm an isolationist
[5:50:34 PM] mirko <3: being alone is how I'm mostly comfortable, but I dunno...
[5:51:35 PM] drew-drewstar: i wanna say just say it
[5:51:38 PM] drew-drewstar: but
[5:51:53 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont wanna hear it
[5:52:11 PM] mirko <3: ?
[5:52:19 PM] drew-drewstar: goddamnit i knew this would happen
[5:52:22 PM] drew-drewstar: like
[5:52:35 PM] mirko <3: its not so much that
[5:53:01 PM] mirko <3: its just, I'm used to just being able to close everything knowing I won't be bothered by anything else
[5:53:08 PM] mirko <3: if it were with someone else it'd be the same issue
[5:53:50 PM] drew-drewstar: ill go now if you want
[5:54:02 PM] mirko <3: No
[5:54:31 PM] mirko <3: please understand, it's just who I am, an asshole whos used to not being cared about
[5:54:47 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont wanna leave you
[5:55:21 PM] mirko <3: I understand that
[5:55:55 PM] mirko <3: you've got a lot going for yourself
[5:56:01 PM] mirko <3: you're smart, pretty etc
[5:56:16 PM] drew-drewstar: but i care about you
[5:56:41 PM] mirko <3: but I live thousands of miles away, and who knows what might happen
[5:57:13 PM] mirko <3: I can't provide actual support apart from the internet, which wouldn't be fair
[5:57:22 PM] drew-drewstar: neither can i
[5:57:55 PM] mirko <3: Back in 4th grade everyone in school hated me
[5:58:10 PM] mirko <3: but eventually people just stopped caring and moved on
[5:58:29 PM] mirko <3: in fact still a lot of people hate me, but not as much
[5:58:34 PM] drew-drewstar: im not going to just move on from you
[5:58:53 PM] drew-drewstar: everybody around me hates me too
[5:59:03 PM] mirko <3: you deserve better
[5:59:13 PM] drew-drewstar: so do you
[5:59:28 PM] mirko <3: I mean, right now I sound like an alright person, but most of the time I just want to be alone
[5:59:42 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry
[5:59:43 PM] mirko <3: but I dont' want to hurt anyone either
[5:59:54 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry for prying into your life
[5:59:57 PM] drew-drewstar: im so so sorry
[6:00:17 PM] mirko <3: No, that was my fault, I should have known better
[6:00:24 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont want you to go YOU SAID YOU WERENT GOING TO LEAVE
[6:00:28 PM] drew-drewstar: pLEASE
[6:00:39 PM] mirko <3: I KNOW
[6:00:40 PM] drew-drewstar: ILL BE A FUCKING GIRL ILL DO ANYTHINF
[6:00:56 PM] mirko <3: MY HEART AND MY BRAIN ARE FIGHTING LIKE ITS WWII
[6:01:20 PM] drew-drewstar: goddamnit
[6:01:23 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry
[6:01:29 PM] drew-drewstar: this is all my fault
[6:01:32 PM] mirko <3: No its not
[6:01:37 PM] mirko <3: It really isn't
[6:01:46 PM] drew-drewstar: yes it is
[6:01:49 PM] mirko <3: It's my fault for being a untrustworthy jackass
[6:02:01 PM] drew-drewstar: i fucking pryed into your life and just
[6:02:07 PM] drew-drewstar: but you arent
[6:02:11 PM] mirko <3: please don't think that
[6:02:18 PM] mirko <3: You're a GREAT person
[6:02:24 PM] drew-drewstar: so are you
[6:02:45 PM] mirko <3: But I don't want to hold you back
[6:02:52 PM] drew-drewstar: you arent
[6:02:55 PM] mirko <3: you've got tons of potential
[6:02:59 PM] drew-drewstar: if anything youre helping me
[6:03:16 PM] drew-drewstar: i wouldnt have gotten a grasp on what i wanted to do without you
[6:03:16 PM] mirko <3: you should go out and either make new friends or just sit down and talk with the old ones
[6:03:27 PM] drew-drewstar: but they all hate me
[6:03:39 PM] mirko <3: I doubt they hate you
[6:03:41 PM] drew-drewstar: amd mup hates me too
[6:03:46 PM] drew-drewstar: yes they do
[6:03:49 PM] mirko <3: like I said, everyone in school hated me too
[6:03:51 PM] drew-drewstar: look at lukas
[6:03:56 PM] mirko <3: just sit down with him
[6:04:01 PM] mirko <3: ask "what happened"
[6:04:07 PM] mirko <3: rationally talk
[6:04:07 PM] drew-drewstar: damnit
[6:04:16 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont wanna sir down with him
[6:04:22 PM] drew-drewstar: i wanna be friends with you
[6:04:23 PM] mirko <3: and who cares about MU
[6:04:38 PM] mirko <3: MU is just an online community
[6:04:46 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah but still
[6:04:47 PM] mirko <3: and thats the big word here, online
[6:05:09 PM] drew-drewstar: when youve built such a negative stigma around yourself
[6:05:18 PM] mirko <3: Then break it!
[6:05:24 PM] mirko <3: Make it great again!
[6:05:28 PM] drew-drewstar: thats for next year
[6:05:47 PM] drew-drewstar: everybody at my school hates me and im just going to leave it behind
[6:05:57 PM] drew-drewstar: i almost forgot about that
[6:05:58 PM] mirko <3: Don't become isolated like I did
[6:06:00 PM] drew-drewstar: thank you
[6:06:03 PM] drew-drewstar: im not
[6:06:06 PM] mirko <3: god please don't
[6:06:11 PM] mirko <3: look at what it did to me
[6:06:21 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont want you to be alone either
[6:06:21 PM] mirko <3: I try to avoid socialization as much as possible
[6:06:33 PM] drew-drewstar: you dont fucking deserve it
[6:06:44 PM] mirko <3: but thats how I feel free
[6:06:50 PM] drew-drewstar: youve gone through so much shit and yoi dont deserve it
[6:06:53 PM] drew-drewstar: augh
[6:07:26 PM] drew-drewstar: goddamnit you sound kinda like me after a breakup
[6:07:44 PM] drew-drewstar: c"ut off ties to me, its better for you"
[6:07:53 PM] mirko <3: except thats how I've always been
[6:08:00 PM] mirko <3: I've always had all my ties cut
[6:08:08 PM] drew-drewstar: please
[6:08:13 PM] drew-drewstar: this is the one time
[6:08:20 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont want somebody to forget about me
[6:08:28 PM] mirko <3: I won't forget about you
[6:08:33 PM] mirko <3: not in a million years
[6:08:51 PM] drew-drewstar: damnit
[6:08:54 PM] drew-drewstar: i just
[6:08:58 PM] drew-drewstar: goddamnit
[6:08:59 PM] mirko <3: but just... love is hard to maintainance
[6:09:05 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont care
[6:09:17 PM] drew-drewstar: i understand i just
[6:09:30 PM] drew-drewstar: please ill settle for anythjing ill do anythinf
[6:09:42 PM] mirko <3: I don't want to make you feel horrible, but its just I've lost time to do the things I usually do
[6:10:01 PM] drew-drewstar: then just
[6:10:08 PM] drew-drewstar: do those things
[6:10:18 PM] mirko <3: but I can't do double duty
[6:10:19 PM] drew-drewstar: why arent you doing them?
[6:10:24 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont care
[6:10:30 PM] mirko <3: I'm talking to you right now
[6:10:30 PM] drew-drewstar: i want you to be happy
[6:10:37 PM] drew-drewstar: even if we talk less
[6:10:42 PM] drew-drewstar: thats fine
[6:10:47 PM] mirko <3: you sure?
[6:10:53 PM] drew-drewstar: of course
[6:11:04 PM] drew-drewstar: its better than most of the peopple i know
[6:11:23 PM] drew-drewstar: lmao
[6:11:25 PM] mirko <3: but I want to you to build up a better social life too
[6:11:31 PM] mirko <3: Don't be dependent on me
[6:11:34 PM] drew-drewstar: i will
[6:11:37 PM] mirko <3: you need to have security
[6:11:42 PM] drew-drewstar: i habe other friends you know
[6:11:48 PM] drew-drewstar: truman, marisa, jun
[6:11:50 PM] mirko <3: thats great
[6:11:56 PM] drew-drewstar: annie and dommy
[6:12:02 PM] drew-drewstar: and ill get better next year
[6:12:18 PM] mirko <3: I'm sorry if I was a little harsh
[6:12:26 PM] drew-drewstar: can we still just
[6:12:31 PM] drew-drewstar: go casually?
[6:12:35 PM] drew-drewstar: idk
[6:12:50 PM] drew-drewstar: do you still even?
[6:12:58 PM] mirko <3: even what?
[6:13:09 PM | Removed 6:13:26 PM] drew-drewstar: This message has been removed.
[6:13:13 PM | Removed 6:13:28 PM] drew-drewstar: This message has been removed.
[6:13:26 PM] mirko <3: uhm... I don't even know anymore...
[6:13:40 PM] drew-drewstar: goddamnit
[6:13:49 PM] drew-drewstar: this is why i said im a whore
[6:13:53 PM] drew-drewstar: look at me
[6:13:55 PM] mirko <3: no no
[6:14:08 PM] drew-drewstar: im crying over some loser from estonia that i talked to for a couple weeks
[6:14:12 PM] mirko <3: its just, it doesn't feel right through the internet
[6:14:19 PM] mirko <3: I am a loser
[6:14:23 PM] mirko <3: the biggest ther eis
[6:14:30 PM] drew-drewstar: ill fucking fly to estonia if i have to
[6:14:32 PM] mirko <3: and also untrustworthy
[6:14:33 PM] drew-drewstar: and thats why i
[6:14:37 PM] drew-drewstar: i
[6:14:41 PM] drew-drewstar: i cant say it
[6:14:46 PM] mirko <3: uh?
[6:14:46 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry
[6:14:53 PM] mirko <3: let it loose
[6:15:04 PM] drew-drewstar: goddamnit thats why i love you
[6:15:11 PM] mirko <3: huh?
[6:15:19 PM] drew-drewstar: how in the hell are you remotely untrustworthy
[6:15:38 PM] mirko <3: because well, I started this whole problem innit
[6:15:43 PM] drew-drewstar: no you didnt
[6:15:44 PM] drew-drewstar: i did
[6:15:57 PM] drew-drewstar: its my fault for existing
[6:16:01 PM] mirko <3: NO
[6:16:05 PM] mirko <3: DON'T EVER SAY THAT
[6:16:19 PM] drew-drewstar: but it is
[6:16:27 PM] mirko <3: No its not!
[6:16:38 PM] mirko <3: like I said, you have A LOT going for you
[6:16:44 PM] drew-drewstar: yes it is i shouldve killed myself years ago
[6:16:50 PM] mirko <3: Absolutely not
[6:16:54 PM] drew-drewstar: you wouldve never met me and this wouldntve happened
[6:17:09 PM] drew-drewstar: all the problems i caused
[6:17:10 PM] mirko <3: man this is what I was afraid of...
[6:17:17 PM] drew-drewstar: shit
[6:17:19 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry
[6:17:27 PM] mirko <3: You're an amazing person
[6:17:31 PM] drew-drewstar: im not going to kill myself
[6:17:36 PM] mirko <3: but its just...we're too different
[6:17:38 PM] drew-drewstar: im too much of a pussy to do it
[6:17:43 PM] drew-drewstar: but
[6:18:24 PM] mirko <3: It just seems so odd that someone cares so much about me
[6:18:32 PM] drew-drewstar: im not even upset at you or with you
[6:18:35 PM] mirko <3: even though I want nobody to really to
[6:18:36 PM] drew-drewstar: im mad at myself
[6:18:43 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry
[6:18:45 PM] mirko <3: Don't be
[6:18:53 PM] mirko <3: it's my fault
[6:19:00 PM] drew-drewstar: i get overreliant on people because i keep on getting abandoned
[6:19:10 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont want people to leave
[6:19:11 PM] mirko <3: the biggest problem with me is that I just mostly don't care
[6:19:28 PM] drew-drewstar: thats fine
[6:19:29 PM] mirko <3: I already have enough worries
[6:19:35 PM] mirko <3: school, family
[6:19:37 PM] mirko <3: future
[6:19:43 PM] drew-drewstar: ill be here for you even when you dont need it
[6:19:50 PM] drew-drewstar: when youre fine and you dont care
[6:19:52 PM] drew-drewstar: ill be fine
[6:19:58 PM] drew-drewstar: i just
[6:20:07 PM] mirko <3: I just don't want you to be sad
[6:20:12 PM] drew-drewstar: im not
[6:20:17 PM] mirko <3: I shouldn't have let it go this far
[6:20:19 PM] drew-drewstar: youre the happiest thing in my life
[6:20:24 PM] drew-drewstar: to me
[6:20:43 PM] mirko <3: I knew I was going to hurt you eventually, but like the stupid fuck that I am I did it anyway
[6:20:53 PM] drew-drewstar: no you arent
[6:20:58 PM] drew-drewstar: you didnt hurt me
[6:21:04 PM] drew-drewstar: im used to this
[6:21:12 PM] mirko <3: But you shouldn't be
[6:21:25 PM] drew-drewstar: you shouldnt be used to being alone then
[6:21:25 PM] mirko <3: just like I should be used to being isolated
[6:21:33 PM] mirko <3: shouldn't*
[6:21:49 PM] drew-drewstar: thats why i want to help you
[6:21:51 PM] mirko <3: somethings just can't be changed...
[6:22:07 PM] mirko <3: I belong in the shadows
[6:22:14 PM] drew-drewstar: no you dont
[6:22:23 PM] mirko <3: where nobody knows anything except for occasional conversations
[6:22:23 PM] drew-drewstar: you dont belong in the spotlight or the shadows
[6:22:31 PM] drew-drewstar: you deserve some recognition
[6:22:39 PM] drew-drewstar: damnit
[6:22:52 PM] mirko <3: yeah, but I just want to be carefree
[6:22:58 PM] drew-drewstar: okay
[6:23:04 PM] drew-drewstar: so do i
[6:23:05 PM] drew-drewstar: you
[6:23:13 PM] drew-drewstar: you dont habe to care about me
[6:23:18 PM] mirko <3: I'm a shit long term person
[6:23:19 PM] drew-drewstar: *have
[6:23:26 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont care
[6:23:36 PM] mirko <3: I can't talk to you if I don't care
[6:23:44 PM] drew-drewstar: why
[6:23:51 PM] mirko <3: because then I'd feel bad
[6:23:57 PM] drew-drewstar: dont
[6:24:04 PM] drew-drewstar: if you want to be carefree
[6:24:05 PM] drew-drewstar: do it
[6:24:11 PM] drew-drewstar: domt feel bad
[6:24:17 PM] drew-drewstar: dont be a guilty wreck like me
[6:24:31 PM] mirko <3: but then I'd probably be silent for a week or two
[6:24:39 PM] drew-drewstar: i domt care
[6:24:40 PM] mirko <3: just doing other things
[6:24:45 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont fucking care man
[6:24:46 PM] drew-drewstar: thats good
[6:24:53 PM] mirko <3: are you sure?
[6:24:54 PM] drew-drewstar: thats fucking great
[6:25:07 PM] drew-drewstar: thats means you actually have a fucking life
[6:25:17 PM] drew-drewstar: look at me
[6:25:22 PM] drew-drewstar: my status is always online
[6:25:25 PM] drew-drewstar: im always just
[6:25:26 PM] mirko <3: you deserve a life too
[6:25:29 PM] mirko <3: you need a life
[6:25:30 PM] drew-drewstar: doinf nothing
[6:25:33 PM] drew-drewstar: i di
[6:25:34 PM] drew-drewstar: do
[6:25:36 PM] drew-drewstar: i want a job
[6:25:40 PM] drew-drewstar: i want a social lide
[6:25:44 PM] drew-drewstar: i want to go outside
[6:25:50 PM] drew-drewstar: butnim too fucking laze
[6:26:01 PM] drew-drewstar: that and my gma wont let me get a job
[6:26:02 PM] mirko <3: You need to do it
[6:26:08 PM] drew-drewstar: i do
[6:26:21 PM] mirko <3: don't let some shitty estonian stand in your way
[6:26:28 PM] drew-drewstar: you arent
[6:26:32 PM] drew-drewstar: ive always been like this
[6:26:42 PM] drew-drewstar: ive always been indoors
[6:26:54 PM] drew-drewstar: nobody really made me go outside
[6:26:55 PM] mirko <3: even if you find someone who you love more, that'd be fine
[6:26:59 PM] mirko <3: that would make me only happies
[6:27:06 PM] mirko <3: happier*
[6:27:13 PM] drew-drewstar: id just feel guilty then
[6:27:19 PM] mirko <3: never do
[6:27:21 PM] drew-drewstar: i love you so much and thayd just be
[6:27:25 PM] mirko <3: I'm the guy behind the scenes
[6:27:37 PM] drew-drewstar: i
[6:27:40 PM] drew-drewstar: i
[6:27:46 PM] drew-drewstar: i just
[6:27:48 PM] drew-drewstar: damnit
[6:28:01 PM] mirko <3: don't worry about me
[6:28:13 PM] drew-drewstar: im goinf to
[6:28:19 PM] mirko <3: as soon as I get a job and my own place I'll be the happiest motherfucker alive
[6:28:28 PM] drew-drewstar: good
[6:28:32 PM] mirko <3: just doing stupid shit and not giving a fuck
[6:28:36 PM] drew-drewstar: i want to help you with that
[6:28:47 PM] mirko <3: theres not a lot you can do for me
[6:28:51 PM] drew-drewstar: its okay, ill always come crawling right the fuck back
[6:29:00 PM] mirko <3: Don't
[6:29:05 PM] mirko <3: don't even crawl back
[6:29:09 PM] mirko <3: ever**
[6:29:11 PM] mirko <3: shit
[6:29:18 PM] drew-drewstar: im going to
[6:29:26 PM] mirko <3: No
[6:29:31 PM] drew-drewstar: i went crawling back to
[6:29:34 PM] drew-drewstar: non
[6:29:35 PM] mirko <3: You need to stand strong
[6:29:37 PM] drew-drewstar: wait i didnt
[6:29:43 PM] drew-drewstar: truman came crawling back to me
[6:30:04 PM] mirko <3: You have to tell yourself that you're great, and you have to believe it
[6:30:09 PM] drew-drewstar: i did
[6:30:17 PM] drew-drewstar: but now i just
[6:30:24 PM] drew-drewstar: im mad at myself
[6:30:32 PM] mirko <3: no, you should be mad at me
[6:30:42 PM] drew-drewstar: no i shouldnt
[6:30:47 PM] drew-drewstar: youre just being you
[6:30:59 PM] drew-drewstar: why should i be mad at thay
[6:31:01 PM] mirko <3: yes you should, you told me you loved me and now I'm saying you need someone else
[6:31:01 PM] drew-drewstar: that
[6:31:14 PM] drew-drewstar: but i dont
[6:31:17 PM] mirko <3: You need to tell the people that hurt you to fuck off
[6:31:17 PM] drew-drewstar: i have other friends
[6:31:31 PM] mirko <3: and I'm one of tjem
[6:31:32 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont want you to fuck off though
[6:31:33 PM] mirko <3: them*
[6:31:40 PM] drew-drewstar: i still care about you
[6:31:47 PM] drew-drewstar: i still fucking care about lukas
[6:31:49 PM] mirko <3: I'm a horrible person
[6:31:57 PM] drew-drewstar: no you arent
[6:32:00 PM] drew-drewstar: youre just you
[6:32:04 PM] drew-drewstar: you want to be alone
[6:32:17 PM] drew-drewstar: thays who you are
[6:32:20 PM] mirko <3: I just don't want you to love an asshole like me...
[6:32:24 PM] mirko <3: because it'd be a bad choice
[6:32:36 PM] mirko <3: not because of you
[6:32:36 PM] drew-drewstar: too bad
[6:32:38 PM] drew-drewstar: i already do
[6:32:38 PM] mirko <3: but because of me
[6:32:46 PM] drew-drewstar: i domt care
[6:32:53 PM] drew-drewstar: ill still love you
[6:32:59 PM] mirko <3: but if its only one sided it can't work
[6:33:01 PM] drew-drewstar: i still love truman to an extent tbh
[6:33:08 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont care
[6:33:09 PM] mirko <3: it's just be an awkward mess
[6:33:11 PM] drew-drewstar: i understand
[6:33:13 PM] mirko <3: for both me and you
[6:33:20 PM] mirko <3: you need real people
[6:33:22 PM] drew-drewstar: augh
[6:33:25 PM] mirko <3: I need real people
[6:33:29 PM] drew-drewstar: but you are real
[6:33:30 PM] drew-drewstar: i
[6:33:36 PM] drew-drewstar: i have reeal people
[6:33:43 PM] mirko <3: No I'm not, I'm just some shmuck on the internet
[6:33:48 PM] drew-drewstar: but you exist
[6:33:51 PM] drew-drewstar: youre real to me
[6:34:36 PM] mirko <3: like, love is always a gamble
[6:34:36 PM] drew-drewstar: so what
[6:34:44 PM] drew-drewstar: even id
[6:34:44 PM] drew-drewstar: if
[6:34:46 PM] mirko <3: sometimes you win, sometimes you lose
[6:34:49 PM] drew-drewstar: i still care about tou
[6:35:02 PM] mirko <3: I hate gambling though...
[6:35:07 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont want to make you forget about me like how i did with zach and bribob
[6:35:18 PM] drew-drewstar: i still actually want to be friends
[6:35:23 PM] drew-drewstar: because you deserve somebody
[6:35:25 PM] mirko <3: of course, that won't change
[6:35:33 PM] drew-drewstar: good
[6:35:33 PM] mirko <3: I have friends too in real life
[6:35:35 PM] drew-drewstar: i just
[6:35:59 PM] mirko <3: in fact we're having some party thing at the 5th, just the 4 of us
[6:36:05 PM] drew-drewstar: welp, time to listen to teen suicide on loop for the next month
[6:36:12 PM] drew-drewstar: oh nice
[6:36:14 PM] drew-drewstar: i remember
[6:36:25 PM] mirko <3: I still want to be friends, obviously
[6:36:28 PM] drew-drewstar: i remember when i had enougj friends to have a party
[6:36:39 PM] mirko <3: even though most people whould hate you for that...
[6:36:39 PM] drew-drewstar: i had one in 5th grade
[6:36:43 PM] drew-drewstar: its was dumb fun
[6:36:49 PM] drew-drewstar: what do tou mean
[6:36:52 PM] drew-drewstar: truman and i
[6:36:55 PM] drew-drewstar: best friends
[6:37:03 PM] mirko <3: thats great
[6:37:14 PM] drew-drewstar: we should do the same
[6:37:15 PM] mirko <3: all you need to do is just be calm
[6:37:16 PM] drew-drewstar: i
[6:37:22 PM] drew-drewstar: im till going to love you
[6:37:24 PM] drew-drewstar: im jusr
[6:37:29 PM] drew-drewstar: mad at myself
[6:37:32 PM] drew-drewstar: idk
[6:37:33 PM] mirko <3: Don't
[6:37:34 PM] mirko <3: be
[6:37:40 PM] drew-drewstar: i typically wouldve needed time alone after this
[6:37:41 PM] drew-drewstar: but
[6:37:43 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont
[6:37:45 PM] drew-drewstar: i just
[6:37:48 PM] drew-drewstar: feel okay
[6:38:01 PM] drew-drewstar: i cant tell if its because im used to it or if its because its you
[6:38:09 PM] mirko <3: it's just, I'm not a person who likes relationships
[6:38:14 PM] drew-drewstar: oh my god im turning into lukas
[6:38:21 PM] drew-drewstar: alright
[6:38:24 PM] mirko <3: I want other people to be happy and stay in the sidelines
[6:38:30 PM] drew-drewstar: alright
[6:38:34 PM] mirko <3: I worry about others, not myself
[6:38:45 PM] drew-drewstar: so do i lmao
[6:38:53 PM] mirko <3: so just go out there and work hard
[6:38:59 PM] mirko <3: live life to the fullest
[6:39:07 PM] drew-drewstar: you better do that too
[6:39:14 PM] drew-drewstar: hah
[6:39:16 PM] mirko <3: I will, we both still have time
[6:39:18 PM] drew-drewstar: now thay i think of it
[6:39:19 PM] mirko <3: we're 14
[6:39:24 PM] drew-drewstar: you remind me of truman
[6:39:30 PM] drew-drewstar: congrats
[6:39:31 PM] mirko <3: we'll find our soulmates, true ones
[6:39:41 PM] drew-drewstar: youre now truman TRU.0
[6:39:50 PM] mirko <3: damnit
[6:39:58 PM] mirko <3: I'm great as a friend
[6:40:02 PM] drew-drewstar: good
[6:40:05 PM] mirko <3: but not so much as a boyfriend
[6:40:12 PM] drew-drewstar: you were great as a boyfriend
[6:40:26 PM] drew-drewstar: you actually tried to keep conversations going
[6:40:28 PM] drew-drewstar: then again
[6:40:36 PM] drew-drewstar: i kinda have a shitty frame of reference
[6:40:41 PM] drew-drewstar: but still
[6:40:42 PM] mirko <3: I mean, I should not be a factor about your decision to be a boy
[6:40:51 PM] mirko <3: thats your decision
[6:40:56 PM] drew-drewstar: i was just
[6:40:59 PM] drew-drewstar: desperate tbh
[6:41:01 PM] mirko <3: and if I start to influence it, thats bad
[6:41:17 PM] mirko <3: you need to stick to your guns
[6:41:17 PM] drew-drewstar: me clawing at the few strinfs of hope for it
[6:41:33 PM] drew-drewstar: but hey
[6:41:35 PM] drew-drewstar: whatever
[6:41:38 PM] drew-drewstar: i
[6:41:40 PM] mirko <3: come on
[6:41:43 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont care anymore
[6:42:02 PM] mirko <3: I really don't want you to feel bad
[6:42:07 PM] drew-drewstar: i do
[6:42:11 PM] drew-drewstar: im sorry
[6:42:15 PM] drew-drewstar: its not your faukt
[6:42:18 PM] drew-drewstar: fault
[6:42:28 PM] mirko <3: It is
[6:42:32 PM] drew-drewstar: its mine for doing this, and not being used to it
[6:42:38 PM] mirko <3: I'm a fucking idiot for still keeping this going
[6:42:46 PM] drew-drewstar: no
[6:42:48 PM] drew-drewstar: its mine
[6:42:48 PM] mirko <3: I just want you to be happy
[6:42:54 PM] drew-drewstar: i initiated it
[6:43:01 PM] drew-drewstar: i want you to be happy too
[6:43:06 PM] mirko <3: I want you to be able to say to me, "you know what, go, I don't need ya"
[6:43:11 PM] drew-drewstar: you make me happy
[6:43:25 PM] drew-drewstar: NO
[6:43:26 PM] mirko <3: independence is good to a degree
[6:43:31 PM] drew-drewstar: I DONT WANT TO SAY THAT TO YOU
[6:43:36 PM] drew-drewstar: id say that to everybody
[6:43:42 PM] drew-drewstar: wist
[6:43:42 PM] mirko <3: but you don't need me
[6:43:43 PM] drew-drewstar: wait
[6:43:46 PM] drew-drewstar: it was always
[6:43:53 PM] drew-drewstar:  "you dont need me"
[6:44:00 PM] drew-drewstar: i do need you
[6:44:09 PM] drew-drewstar: in fact i dont actually need you
[6:44:14 PM] drew-drewstar: i want to need you
[6:44:21 PM] drew-drewstar: i want you to be alright
[6:44:24 PM] mirko <3: I want you to be happy EVEN without me
[6:44:40 PM] drew-drewstar: thats gonna be hard
[6:44:42 PM] mirko <3: just as an option
[6:44:53 PM] drew-drewstar: an option sounds good
[6:45:01 PM] drew-drewstar: haha
[6:45:09 PM] drew-drewstar: just like how i was to everybody else
[6:45:25 PM] mirko <3: Just... please don't think that I hate you now
[6:45:26 PM] mirko <3: I don't
[6:45:42 PM] mirko <3: I could NEVER hate you
[6:45:46 PM] mirko <3: or forget about you
[6:45:57 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont hate you either
[6:46:01 PM] mirko <3: I just want you to enjoy life
[6:46:03 PM] drew-drewstar: lmao
[6:46:20 PM] drew-drewstar: this is ehat i get
[6:46:33 PM] drew-drewstar: even though i have succh fucking anxiety
[6:46:39 PM] mirko <3: Noo, please
[6:46:48 PM] drew-drewstar: i m so desperate for some clear mind of non anxiety
[6:46:52 PM] mirko <3: I'm being a cunt
[6:47:03 PM] drew-drewstar: no you srent
[6:47:13 PM] drew-drewstar: im just clinging forsomebody to trust
[6:47:40 PM] mirko <3: I'll always help you
[6:47:46 PM] drew-drewstar: goos
[6:47:48 PM] drew-drewstar: good
[6:47:58 PM] drew-drewstar: i want to help you too
[6:48:12 PM] mirko <3: You can help me by just being happy
[6:48:26 PM] drew-drewstar: so can you
[6:48:34 PM] mirko <3: and not being sad when I might disappear for awhile
[6:48:43 PM] mirko <3: I'm happy most of the time
[6:48:48 PM] drew-drewstar: you just need to explain that to me
[6:48:53 PM] drew-drewstar: and ill understand
[6:48:55 PM] mirko <3: thats why I want to help other people
[6:49:02 PM] mirko <3: explain?
[6:49:06 PM] mirko <3: what exactly?
[6:49:17 PM] drew-drewstar: like how youll just be silent for a week
[6:49:29 PM] drew-drewstar: i understand thay because you told me
[6:50:05 PM] mirko <3: I'll just be quiet
[6:50:13 PM] mirko <3: or have skype closed
[6:50:27 PM] mirko <3: I'll just kinda shut myself off from everything
[6:50:27 PM] drew-drewstar: thats fine
[6:50:31 PM] drew-drewstar: i understand that
[6:50:35 PM] mirko <3: and watch youtube videos or play games
[6:50:40 PM] mirko <3: or watch TV, etc
[6:50:42 PM] drew-drewstar: good
[6:51:03 PM] mirko <3: guess you can sum it up like "I just want a break"
[6:51:44 PM] drew-drewstar: lmao
[6:51:52 PM] drew-drewstar: thats what truman said to me actually
[6:52:04 PM] mirko <3: well I don't mean it like that
[6:52:20 PM] mirko <3: like I want you to disappear from my life
[6:52:23 PM] mirko <3: I don't
[6:52:34 PM] mirko <3: I still want you to be there, and I want to be there for you
[6:52:51 PM] drew-drewstar: truman didnt disappear from my life
[6:52:55 PM] drew-drewstar: he just
[6:53:07 PM] drew-drewstar: said that and then ditched me for a week
[6:53:11 PM] drew-drewstar: then he broke up with me
[6:53:16 PM] drew-drewstar: and then two months later
[6:53:38 PM] drew-drewstar: he completely ditches me because i was a filthy liberal emotional trainwreck
[6:53:45 PM] drew-drewstar: but hey! that was a yeae ago
[6:53:48 PM] mirko <3: I promise I won't do that
[6:54:00 PM] drew-drewstar: good
[6:54:05 PM] drew-drewstar: i domt believe you will
[6:54:56 PM] drew-drewstar: just
[6:54:58 PM] drew-drewstar: idk
[6:55:21 PM] mirko <3: and even in the off chance that I for some idiotic reason do (0.0000001%), I don't want you to be destroyed
[6:55:34 PM] drew-drewstar: i mean
[6:55:43 PM] drew-drewstar: i doubt anybody would want
[6:55:46 PM] drew-drewstar: wait no i sont
[6:55:47 PM] drew-drewstar: dont
[6:55:54 PM] drew-drewstar: but i doubt you would
[6:56:26 PM] mirko <3: I'll be there for you
[6:56:38 PM] mirko <3: but, just don't be overreliant on me
[6:56:40 PM] drew-drewstar: ill do the same
[6:56:42 PM] drew-drewstar: i wonnt
[6:57:05 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont really think im overreliant on anybody
[6:57:06 PM] drew-drewstar: just
[6:57:12 PM] drew-drewstar: im overreliant on my trust
[6:57:48 PM] mirko <3: Just trust yourself
[6:58:06 PM] mirko <3: you know more than anyone else
[6:58:15 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah
[6:58:20 PM] mirko <3: and what you think is right, it probably is
[6:58:28 PM] drew-drewstar: i still love you
[6:58:31 PM] drew-drewstar: not even like
[6:58:34 PM] drew-drewstar: gay like
[6:58:35 PM] drew-drewstar: just
[6:58:44 PM] drew-drewstar: i love you like i love truman or marisa
[6:59:01 PM] mirko <3: Thats great, I love you as a friend too
[6:59:04 PM] mirko <3: if that makes any sense
[6:59:08 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah
[6:59:11 PM] drew-drewstar: i understand
[6:59:24 PM] mirko <3: it's just...well yeah, who I am
[6:59:41 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah
[6:59:43 PM] drew-drewstar: sorry
[6:59:48 PM] mirko <3: Don't be sad
[7:00:14 PM] drew-drewstar: i am lmao
[7:00:21 PM] drew-drewstar: its gonna take me a day or so to just
[7:00:24 PM] drew-drewstar: relax
[7:00:26 PM] mirko <3: come on
[7:00:30 PM] drew-drewstar: do some shitty poetry
[7:00:32 PM] mirko <3: now I feel bad...
[7:00:33 PM] drew-drewstar: just get it out
[7:00:36 PM] drew-drewstar: shush no
[7:00:46 PM] mirko <3: I haven't left you, I'm still here
[7:00:47 PM] drew-drewstar: its like
[7:00:52 PM] drew-drewstar: self care day for me
[7:00:53 PM] mirko <3: just, we need distance
[7:00:58 PM] drew-drewstar: just relax time, time to cope
[7:01:06 PM] mirko <3: thats a good idea
[7:01:10 PM] drew-drewstar: http://drewdrewstar.deviantart.com/art/CAUSE-IVE-GOT-REAL-BAD-NEWS-FOR-YOU-576395601 kinda feels like this applies to a lesser extent
[7:01:13 PM] mirko <3: do things that you find fun
[7:01:16 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah
[7:01:21 PM] drew-drewstar: i always do that
[7:01:22 PM] mirko <3: and forget that I even exist
[7:01:31 PM] drew-drewstar: lol no
[7:01:41 PM] drew-drewstar: its more time for me to just come to terms
[7:01:48 PM] drew-drewstar: its just gonna be a day or teo tho
[7:01:51 PM] drew-drewstar: i cope easily
[7:02:01 PM] drew-drewstar: see: me being a fucking whore even though i was raped
[7:02:34 PM] mirko <3: DO NOT SAY THAT
[7:02:41 PM] mirko <3: Just, take care of yourself
[7:02:46 PM] drew-drewstar: i will
[7:02:50 PM] drew-drewstar: as long as you do
[7:02:57 PM] mirko <3: I want you to become someone great
[7:03:05 PM] mirko <3: someone other people will look up to
[7:03:32 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont want to though
[7:03:34 PM] drew-drewstar: i could
[7:03:37 PM] drew-drewstar: i really could
[7:03:40 PM] drew-drewstar: but in reality
[7:03:46 PM] mirko <3: yes you could
[7:03:47 PM] mirko <3: and you can
[7:03:51 PM] drew-drewstar: i just want people to give a shit
[7:03:54 PM] mirko <3: and I'm sure you will
[7:03:57 PM] mirko <3: I give a shit
[7:04:02 PM] mirko <3: but I'm not good enough
[7:04:02 PM] drew-drewstar: good
[7:04:09 PM] mirko <3: You need to aim higher
[7:04:13 PM] drew-drewstar: no
[7:04:15 PM] mirko <3: aim for the top
[7:04:27 PM] drew-drewstar: too lazy
[7:04:28 PM] mirko <3: don't accept something that doesn't please you
[7:04:34 PM] drew-drewstar: ill get fucking murdered if i do that
[7:04:38 PM] mirko <3: Get that laziness outta yer head
[7:04:40 PM] drew-drewstar: dude
[7:04:49 PM] drew-drewstar: my life goal before was
[7:04:55 PM] mirko <3: you've got so much potential
[7:04:57 PM] drew-drewstar: "acme manager living in apartment"
[7:05:03 PM] mirko <3: don't let it go to waste
[7:05:04 PM] drew-drewstar: oh god you sound like my parents
[7:05:16 PM] mirko <3: but they're right if they say thay
[7:05:17 PM] mirko <3: that*
[7:05:30 PM] mirko <3: You can achieve great things
[7:05:37 PM] drew-drewstar: lmao
[7:05:38 PM] mirko <3: make america great again, if you will
[7:05:44 PM] drew-drewstar: pffff
[7:05:48 PM] mirko <3: don't think of it like a joke
[7:05:55 PM] mirko <3: its a purpose
[7:05:58 PM] drew-drewstar: except i reslly wont
[7:06:10 PM] drew-drewstar: if i become an animator or graphic designer
[7:06:11 PM] drew-drewstar: well
[7:06:17 PM] drew-drewstar: look at rebecca sugar
[7:06:24 PM] mirko <3: If thats what you want, go for it
[7:06:24 PM] drew-drewstar: creator of steven universe
[7:06:29 PM] mirko <3: never stop
[7:06:34 PM] drew-drewstar: theres things i wsnt
[7:06:37 PM] drew-drewstar: but then it just
[7:06:38 PM] mirko <3: she started at rock bottom too
[7:06:41 PM] drew-drewstar: doesnt feel worth it
[7:06:46 PM] drew-drewstar: no i mean
[7:06:48 PM] mirko <3: it is worth it
[7:06:50 PM] drew-drewstar: she gets so much shit
[7:06:52 PM] mirko <3: you're worth it
[7:07:02 PM] drew-drewstar: because shes making a crazy progressive show
[7:07:05 PM] mirko <3: well, I don't watch the show so...
[7:07:22 PM] mirko <3: then differ!
[7:07:35 PM] drew-drewstar: and people hate her for it
[7:07:36 PM] mirko <3: you've got a great mindset
[7:07:41 PM] drew-drewstar: either for being progressive
[7:07:41 PM] mirko <3: neutrality
[7:07:46 PM] mirko <3: people love that
[7:07:47 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah
[7:07:50 PM] mirko <3: because its neutral
[7:07:50 PM] drew-drewstar: i do
[7:08:00 PM] drew-drewstar: NEUTRAL ROUTE BEST ROUTE
[7:08:06 PM] mirko <3: use that to your advantage!
[7:08:17 PM] drew-drewstar: Im blaming shin megami tensei
[7:08:22 PM] mirko <3: The simpsons back in the 90's were neutral too
[7:08:27 PM] mirko <3: and it was popular as fuck
[7:08:28 PM] drew-drewstar: oh yeah
[7:08:50 PM] drew-drewstar: even now
[7:08:51 PM] mirko <3: I mean, you can draw really well
[7:08:57 PM] mirko <3: you've got amazing stories
[7:09:02 PM] drew-drewstar: i dont really paint people that think differently than me as evil
[7:09:04 PM] mirko <3: it's all right there
[7:09:14 PM] drew-drewstar: i just see them as dickish people thay have their own views
[7:09:18 PM] mirko <3: all you need is just a little motivation
[7:09:26 PM] mirko <3: see, there you go
[7:09:34 PM] drew-drewstar: cant wait for the live movie adaption of "gay story about a straight man"
[7:10:04 PM] mirko <3: can you see now that you've got  tremendous potential?
[7:10:19 PM] drew-drewstar: its kidna hard to believe
[7:10:25 PM] mirko <3: I believe it
[7:10:25 PM] drew-drewstar: when everybody drills it into my head
[7:10:28 PM] mirko <3: and so should you
[7:10:30 PM] drew-drewstar: BELIEBE IT
[7:10:33 PM] drew-drewstar: NARUTO
[7:10:37 PM] drew-drewstar: IM SO SORRY IM JUST
[7:10:40 PM] drew-drewstar: now in a better mood
[7:10:43 PM] mirko <3: if they drill it, that means its true
[7:10:47 PM] drew-drewstar: and thinking about shitty jokes
[7:10:50 PM] mirko <3: go out there and work hard
[7:10:50 PM] drew-drewstar: not always fam
[7:11:05 PM] mirko <3: come on, if I say it it has to have some worth, right?
[7:11:09 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah
[7:11:12 PM] drew-drewstar: good point
[7:11:15 PM] drew-drewstar: actually hold on
[7:11:45 PM] drew-drewstar: http://youtu.be/pttoX-_MvYg
[7:11:46 PM] drew-drewstar: bam
[7:11:58 PM] drew-drewstar: shitty flipbook animation i did for school
[7:12:00 PM] drew-drewstar: its a start
[7:12:05 PM] drew-drewstar: but it was actually a lot of fun
[7:12:28 PM] mirko <3: that looks great
[7:12:43 PM] mirko <3: like, I could never do that, not without a LOT of practice
[7:12:49 PM] mirko <3: you've got a talent
[7:13:00 PM] drew-drewstar: i habe never done a flipbook in my fucking life
[7:13:02 PM] drew-drewstar: fun fact
[7:13:39 PM] drew-drewstar: last year i was going to make an animatednpilot
[7:13:45 PM] drew-drewstar: for a cartoon i really wanted to make
[7:13:48 PM] drew-drewstar: mecha mars
[7:13:54 PM] drew-drewstar: i got voice actors and everything
[7:14:11 PM] drew-drewstar: but then i got sent to the hospital and lost motivation
[7:14:23 PM] mirko <3: Oh jesus
[7:14:27 PM] mirko <3: you need to bring it back
[7:14:33 PM] drew-drewstar: yeah
[7:14:37 PM] mirko <3: it could be the chance of a lifetime